TO THE SEA
The sun's warmth fills me with a feeling of inner calm and
Deep serenity floods my peaceful soul
As I stand gazing at the beautiful glistening sea.
My mind drifts endlessly like a boat lost at sea,
The waves crashing in my ears, calling me, calling me
And my soul whispers the earnest reply
"One day soon we will be together".
Every footprint I leave in the sand is like a promise
Of my intention to return for good one day
And while the rising tide may quickly wash them away,
Nothing can erase the binding contract my soul has made with the sea.
©2009 Caren Carter
My second poem was a subconscious request to the Universe from my soul, a hope that I might fulfil my dreams of living by the sea. I don’t remember exactly how long I had been wishing I could make such a daring move – five years or more, I suppose. A childhood of idyllic summer holidays spent on the south coast of England and various seaside trips with friends had no doubt played their part in my fascination with the sea. In addition, the past 18 months have been filled with oddly frequent reminders of the sea in one form or another, rarely more than a few weeks apart. It’s almost as if the sea were building its case against the suffocation of the city in which I lived, by sending me timely prompts and gentle nudges.
In writing ‘To The Sea’, I was creatively confirming my fondness for the sea, and these three short verses irreversibly rekindled my dreams of leaving London. Deep down however, I still believed that this aspiration was an impossible dream. I certainly had the desire burning brightly within me, but I didn’t have any idea of how I could ever make this dramatic move. It was inconceivable that I could relocate to the coast without years of careful preparation and planning. All I knew was that I was filled with passion for the sea and felt I should try my hardest to make it happen ‘one day’, if at all possible.
In hindsight, it seems as if this poem opened a new path for my life’s journey, although I was to remain blissfully unaware of this fact for some months to come. I continued driving myself crazy with daydreams of owning a boat and living in a flat with a balcony overlooking a small harbour. It was not until April that I had a fateful online meeting with a poet who I discovered on MySpace. I really liked his work and dropped him a line to tell him as much. ‘Look me up on MSN, if you want to chat’, I said, completely unaware of how this liaison would change my life. In our very first online conversation, I declared that I wanted to escape the city and live by the sea; ‘I live by the sea’ came the matter-of-fact response. At that very moment, everything seemed to fall into place before me – it's as though I was being guided by unseen forces from then on, reassuring me every step of the way that this was where my future lay; not on the south coast of England as I had always assumed, but 450 miles away on the Scottish coast. ‘Well, soothing inner voices, I hope you are right about this’ was all I could think to myself.
The next couple of months are a bit of a blur, I gradually came to agree with the advice that my inner voices were so insistently playing over and over in my mind; I should leave London and move to Scotland. Just like that, the simplest decision I have ever made, in many respects. I have certainly not had a single moment of doubt about the move, since the idea first formed itself in my mind. Admittedly at times it is all a little surreal and dream-like; especially when I try to explain my decision to other people. ‘It just feels right’ is hardly a rational explanation, and yet I am not at all worried about any of my plans.
So, the dream that I believed to be way beyond my grasp is suddenly in the palm of my hand. It makes me realise how often we hold ourselves back by putting false limitations on our lives. How simple life seems and how easy it is to achieve our dreams when instead of believing what we tell ourselves is impossible, we choose to believe in what is possible and pursue it with a passion…
Monday 7 September 2009
Friday 4 September 2009
SOUL MATES: The Poem That Started It All
How deep is the pool that is your soul?
What harm if I stay a while and
Immerse myself in its stillness?
Dare I dive straight in and risk drowning
Or should I stay safe in the shallows?
Relaxation washes over me in the warmth of your smile
And as the intensity of your gaze engulfs me,
I discover that my own soul is already lost to you forever...
©2009 Caren Carter
This poem is ‘the one’ that sparked this creative journey, allowing me to rediscover the writer who was lost within me. It was the first poem I had written for over 20 years, and was a deeply personal creation, written as a gift for a friend. When I started to share my writing later on, I revealed subsequent poems first, keeping Soul Mates in the shadows until I felt the time was right for it to be shared. I still don’t know why I was quite so protective over this poem. Maybe I was surprised by the depth of feeling within it and by how precious this first poetic effort felt to me. Somehow it felt wrong to expose it to the scrutiny of family and friends in the early days. This piece of work was a piece of my fragile creative soul and I couldn’t risk receiving any criticism of it.
Soul Mates serves as a testimony for the love and depth of connection that can exist when your heart is open to friendship without expectations or demands. A strong bond of friendship and trust has been forged; nothing more than acceptance and understanding required. It’s a liberating experience, providing me with an inspiring model for how relaxed and rewarding friendships can be when you understand each other. Now I endeavour to replicate these qualities across all relationships in my life. I’ve observed so often that friendships can be burdened unnecessarily with unrealistic expectations, leading inevitably to disappointment and I don’t want any of my friendships to ever feel that way. I wonder why it is that we don’t cut each other a little slack sometimes; we would certainly be happier for it. Instead of asking ourselves ‘why did my friend let me down?’, would it be more revealing for us to ask ‘why can I not allow my friend to make mistakes?’. Do you remember how great it feels when a friend shrugs their shoulders and genuinely accepts an apology, instead of making you feel bad for letting them down? Being a good friend is as simple as that, and I’m challenging myself to be that kind of person.
The friendship which has served as such an inspiration also taught me the value of being still and enjoying the calming silence that flourishes between people who are comfortable in each other’s presence. I strive to exercise this skill throughout my daily life and believe that I have become a more confident and contented person for it. I no longer worry about filling silences with unnecessary chatter, revelling instead in the serenity of having a still mind. I try to speak only when I feel that I have something worth saying (friends and family will be queuing up to point out that I have some way to go before I may claim I have mastered this art).
My first poem was written because I wanted to give a friend a special Christmas gift but couldn’t think of anything I could buy which would convey how much they meant to me. It is certainly a monumental twist of fate that my desire to bring pleasure to a friend brought about a creative awakening which promises to bring exponential benefits to my own happiness and wellbeing. My faith in the mysterious ways of our universe has been rekindled; I put a relatively small amount of energy into a seemingly insignificant task and am now reaping rewards far outweighing my investment in creating this poem.
Writing undoubtedly assists me in my quest for inner quietness. I write poems filled with my worries or desires and once I’ve committed the words to paper, I rarely feel the need to continue contemplating the topic. My mind is released for further creativity and more rewarding pursuits. Writing has truly been a gift to my mental wellbeing in this regard. If you constantly find troublesome thoughts buzzing around your mind draining your energy, I would urge you to pick up a pen and notepad and start writing. You will be surprised how therapeutic committing your thoughts to paper can be. You may succeed in releasing the writer trapped within, as I have done.
What harm if I stay a while and
Immerse myself in its stillness?
Dare I dive straight in and risk drowning
Or should I stay safe in the shallows?
Relaxation washes over me in the warmth of your smile
And as the intensity of your gaze engulfs me,
I discover that my own soul is already lost to you forever...
©2009 Caren Carter
This poem is ‘the one’ that sparked this creative journey, allowing me to rediscover the writer who was lost within me. It was the first poem I had written for over 20 years, and was a deeply personal creation, written as a gift for a friend. When I started to share my writing later on, I revealed subsequent poems first, keeping Soul Mates in the shadows until I felt the time was right for it to be shared. I still don’t know why I was quite so protective over this poem. Maybe I was surprised by the depth of feeling within it and by how precious this first poetic effort felt to me. Somehow it felt wrong to expose it to the scrutiny of family and friends in the early days. This piece of work was a piece of my fragile creative soul and I couldn’t risk receiving any criticism of it.
Soul Mates serves as a testimony for the love and depth of connection that can exist when your heart is open to friendship without expectations or demands. A strong bond of friendship and trust has been forged; nothing more than acceptance and understanding required. It’s a liberating experience, providing me with an inspiring model for how relaxed and rewarding friendships can be when you understand each other. Now I endeavour to replicate these qualities across all relationships in my life. I’ve observed so often that friendships can be burdened unnecessarily with unrealistic expectations, leading inevitably to disappointment and I don’t want any of my friendships to ever feel that way. I wonder why it is that we don’t cut each other a little slack sometimes; we would certainly be happier for it. Instead of asking ourselves ‘why did my friend let me down?’, would it be more revealing for us to ask ‘why can I not allow my friend to make mistakes?’. Do you remember how great it feels when a friend shrugs their shoulders and genuinely accepts an apology, instead of making you feel bad for letting them down? Being a good friend is as simple as that, and I’m challenging myself to be that kind of person.
The friendship which has served as such an inspiration also taught me the value of being still and enjoying the calming silence that flourishes between people who are comfortable in each other’s presence. I strive to exercise this skill throughout my daily life and believe that I have become a more confident and contented person for it. I no longer worry about filling silences with unnecessary chatter, revelling instead in the serenity of having a still mind. I try to speak only when I feel that I have something worth saying (friends and family will be queuing up to point out that I have some way to go before I may claim I have mastered this art).
My first poem was written because I wanted to give a friend a special Christmas gift but couldn’t think of anything I could buy which would convey how much they meant to me. It is certainly a monumental twist of fate that my desire to bring pleasure to a friend brought about a creative awakening which promises to bring exponential benefits to my own happiness and wellbeing. My faith in the mysterious ways of our universe has been rekindled; I put a relatively small amount of energy into a seemingly insignificant task and am now reaping rewards far outweighing my investment in creating this poem.
Writing undoubtedly assists me in my quest for inner quietness. I write poems filled with my worries or desires and once I’ve committed the words to paper, I rarely feel the need to continue contemplating the topic. My mind is released for further creativity and more rewarding pursuits. Writing has truly been a gift to my mental wellbeing in this regard. If you constantly find troublesome thoughts buzzing around your mind draining your energy, I would urge you to pick up a pen and notepad and start writing. You will be surprised how therapeutic committing your thoughts to paper can be. You may succeed in releasing the writer trapped within, as I have done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
